"We're Only Doing Optimism"

...for the moment

On Sunday, I emerged from a long weekend in the woods. It was our annual camping trip with our best travel buds where we sat by and played in a pristine lake, paddled on mirror-still waters with views of the top of Mt. Hood peeking above the trees across the lake, watched our kids chop the living hell out of a fallen and dead tree, and we very much did not have cell service. 

The lack of cell service in the constant chaos of today’s political and climate landscape (hellscape?) is a needed reprieve (although it was smokey on our last day which was a real reminder of the climate hellscape). But also, it feels like the emergence back into connectivity brings on way more anxiety than the typical Sunday Scaries when it’s just the return to work email that gives anxiety. Rather, it’s the anxiety of “what horrible thing happened over the weekend that I’m going to have to face now and will chase away any zen I maintained over the weekend?” 

That is what I was facing on Sunday, as we drove back into town. We listened to dance-friendly songs trying out some things to add to my son’s playlist. It was nice not to listen to a podcast or an audiobook or anything talking. It was just us bopping along and keeping that groove from the weekend. But by the time we made it down the mountain and civilization was in sight, there was a notable pit emerging in my stomach. However, this time, it was fleeting. More fleeting than it ever has been emerging from these trips as I noticed the feeling, acknowledged it, and then went right back into singing along and analyzing the songs to see if they’d be suitable for Finch’s dance mix. Part of this could be the Lexapro (seriously, though, really appreciating SSRIs). But also, over the past several weeks, I’ve kind of unintentionally moved myself into a mode of optimism. Which seems to come from only paying half-attention to the news. 

For anyone who knows me, this is not my MO. I am a wonky leftist who is constantly listening to NPR and political podcasts and loves to overanalyze all political happenings. I am the one many of my friends tend to go to to find out what are the haps in local politics. But recently a friend asked me, “how are you dealing with all the political stuff right now?” I had to pause for a second because I realized there was nothing intentional going on about my approach, but really, it was that I chose to look at the bright side of things. 

Sporting my Fake The Nation “We’re Only Doing Optimism” Shirt as a reminder to myself

This is also not my way of being. I love spiraling. Okay, maybe not love, but I have a knack for it and I want very much for others to reflect that spiraling back at me. So this answer kind of came as a surprise to me. I think I owe my friend

Serena Burman

who writes

Remembering Play

for this moment of optimism. She intuited this spiraling from my intro to a post a few weeks back and texted me an Ezra Klein podcast episode called “How An Open Democratic Convention Could Work.” And you know what, the episode kind of flipped a switch in me. At that point Biden was still very much in the race and it didn’t look like he was going anywhere, but it pointed to another way. It pointed to something kind of cool.

I don’t know if the DNC will end up being what Elaine Kamarck described, but it’s a pretty cool process and could be really interesting to watch. And around the same time I listened to the podcast, things started to completely go a different direction in Europe to add a bit of fuel to the optimism fire: The Labour Party won in a landslide in the UK elections and, by some miracle, a left-wing alliance overcame the potential rise of the uber right wing in France. And while politics in America are quite different, there was something that helped keep that optimism going. The idea that this doesn’t have to be the way it is.

This makes me recall one of my favorite political podcasters, Negin Farsad’s approach in her show, Fake the Nation, where her election motto is “We’re Only Doing Optimism” (see my shirt that I got from being a supporter of Farsad on her Patreon–also seriously it’s one of my favorite political analysis shows because they're all comedians on there and Negin is truly the best).

And listen, I understand that regardless of who wins or loses in November, this whole American project, especially the state it is in right now is as fucked up as it always has been. I do not love the capitalist plutocracy that we live in. I know it can be better than this “democracy” that we’re seeing on the national scale. And I know it can and should be better and we should be more community-oriented and look more locally. But that’s also where local politics come in. We can have a hand in re-shaping our future at that level and there’s a lot of hope there. There are lots of ways to get involved locally and I urge you to find those avenues for the sake of your outlook on the world if anything else. 

And of course, I had meant this post to not bring me down the wonky road–I just can’t help it, lol–rather to be focused on this kind of optimistic zen state I’ve somehow happened upon. And so let’s bring it back there because it’s worth delving into. 

This optimistic approach is not about ignoring what’s happening in the world, or not paying attention to the climate crisis, or vowing to leave the country if it doesn’t go my way on November 5th, it’s still about being present. More so, it’s about channeling my energy towards possibility. What I am saying is that it can help to find the beauty in the everyday to feel grounded in what is worth saving. It can help not to be completely inundated with the news every moment of the day. And it can help to take a moment to just breathe.

I have never been that good at staying in the moment and allowing for myself to not get sucked down the spiral. But I wonder if these past couple of years of this project and finding some kind of flow state has helped. I don’t think this is going to be my permanent state of being–I am human after all with all that comes along with that–but it’s my state right now and I’m going to appreciate it.

And now for your (my) moment of Zen from this last weekend…

A picture of peace: Dirty feet, cup of coffee, a calm lake. Not pictured: Kids playing on their own and a book that I actually read most of on this trip.