An Ode to Gathering and Togetherness

As an adult, I have loved Thanksgiving more than all other holidays. It is one that comes without the expectation of buying things, rather it centers around gathering with loved ones. It involves cooking together. And it involves gratitude. I know that gathering as a family can feel riddled with land mines for some whose family members might not feel quite the same politically. But we didn’t really have that. When we did talk politics it always felt civil, likely because we were all more or less on the same page. So Thanksgiving, to me, was just about coziness and being together and I get it doesn’t feel that way for everyone.

Also, as I’ve gained a deeper sense of Indigenous histories and experiences in the colonialism that has made me so privileged, I’ve grappled with the tensions of loving a holiday that for so many is a day of mourning. I’ve written about that here and here in previous posts. I’ve somehow reached a balance more or less for enjoying the togetherness while also acknowledging the darker history of the holiday (which both those posts go into). And that balance really centers around appreciating being with the people I love most.

The idea of togetherness is something I’ve thought about a lot through this project. In that the gathering that Thanksgiving seems to require, I’d love to have that more regularly. Not just around holidays, just something we do often and maybe even spontaneously. It’s a habit that would require us to slow down a bit more, take time to plan a big meal with a large group of people, and just be available for a long evening of connecting. That often isn’t an option without weeks of planning ahead and scheduling around activities.

Gathering, to me, is a vision of utopia. I want more connecting with other people. Of course, that doesn’t come without conflict. We are humans after all. Same as our Thanksgiving doesn’t come without my sisters and I bickering over something trivial.

And all of it, the good, the bad, the annoying is all a part of the joy and beauty of togetherness.

So as you head into the holiday week, I wish you a wonderful week of togetherness. I hope you are surrounded by people with whom you can be your full selves. I hope you are able to have deep and even hard conversations. And most of all, I hope you feel nourished and loved.